The Sears Senshi Saga
by Raederle
Summary: And so the insanity begins, as Koenma Sama instructs his four Reikai tanteis to learn English and go hunt down the elusive Sears scouts, who none of his operatives have yet been able to pin down.
1. Beautiful Henshin! Yu Yu Boys Earn Mini...

**Rae Chan:** La la~ Okay. PG 13 for the boys and Blue's dirty mouth. Continued references to homosexuality. Insanity. And some light to mild Mary Jane'ing. 

**Sarah:** I think you mean _Mary Sue_. 

**Mistress Belle:** No, she had it right the first time. This is on crack. 

**Sarah:** You're just pissed cause- 

**Rae Chan:** Don't give it away! Have fun peeps. This isn't really a self insertion fic. This stuff really happened to me. I was a Sears Senshi in a past life and met the Yu Yu boys where I worked. 

**Sarah:** Ehh... okay, you're right, Blue. She is on crack. 

**Rae Chan:** If you've got an open mind, and need a laugh, proceed. 

Beautiful Henshin! The Yu Yu Boys Earn Minimum Wage!!

Yusuke and his three comrades stood solemnly, waiting for Koenma to finally focus his attention on them. He'd called them here only a few hours before, and Botan had rushed them there as quickly as possible. The matter was of the utmost importance, Yusuke assumed. Which of course, would lead to some fierce enemies. He couldn't wait. 

Koenma swirled around in his chair. 

"Ack!" The little emperor fell on the ground. "When did you get here?" 

Yusuke sighed. "You didn't even notice?! We've been waiting on you! I thought this was important!" 

"It is. Shut-up and I'll tell you." Koenma gave George a dirty look for not alerting him and proceeded to climb back into his chair. Yusuke rolled his eyes. "I need the four of you to go on an extremely dangerous undercover mission." 

Yusuke grinned wickedly. A fight! Hiei glanced over at him. He made no other motion, but Yusuke could tell he was up for a battle. Hiei never liked to go for long without fighting a real opponent. 

"You boys are going into retail." 

"W- what!" Kuwabara yelled. He slammed his palms down on Koenma's desk. "Retail? We have to get jobs?" 

"Undercover!" Koenma yelled back. _Irreverent deadbeat brats._ "We've been trying to find out the identity of some very powerful beings in America, but have yet to breach their disguise. I'd like to recruit them as Spiritual Detectives." 

"Then what about us?" Kurama asked softly, mulling the idea over in his head. Koenma frowned. 

"I need you for certain jobs. These prospective agents... would be for different types of jobs." 

"They are weak." Hiei concluded. 

"Not entirely. They have never been defeated in a battle. And as I said, we can't even find out who they are." Koenma sighed. "You aren't even the first wave of agents I've sent in to find them. Not even the fifth! If this is a mere disguise, they are second to none at camouflage." 

"Or powerful tricksters." Kurama said. "It isn't uncommon for demons to have the power to shapeshift. Or even to create the illusion of such." 

"Even less common among Fox youkai." Koenma remarked wryly. "You would know. And you, Yusuke, have unseen characteristics, and have proven to me in the past that you can see the unseen characteristics of others. Since you are a team, and this could get dangerous, I've arranged for all of you to become employed in the best environment to catch our prospective agents in the act." 

"In some stupid mall?" Yusuke said incredulously. Koenma smiled suddenly, and more than one of the detectives shuddered. 

"Ever heard of Sailor Sears and the Sears Senshi?" 

"W-WHAAAAT!?" *** 

Sitting calmly on the plane, Kurama reviewed the material that Koenma had given them about the Sears Senshi. After they had calmed Kurabara, that is. And since Kurama already spoke English, he didn't need to focus on learning quickly for the trip. Oddly enough... he'd been certain that Kuwabara and Yusuke had a class in that at school.. 

Yare yare. In any case, it gave Kurama some time to think on the mystery. Four college-aged girls who appeared out of nowhere... scantily clad as in the animated show... always in or near a Sears department store, beating off shoplifters... and other opponents. Koenma had admitted to sending an agent to attack them, a strong one, who had never returned. 

_We have photographs of the girls._ Kurama wondered to himself. _It should be no more than a simple case of identification. But if it were that simple... we wouldn't be on this case._

Kurama bit back a chuckle. Hiei was picking English up almost immediately, barking back at Kuwabara because he was learning so slowly. The human boys had right not to be happy. They'd given up their winter break for this. He himself usually made up a trip to tell Shiori about, and went to the Makai to train with Hiei. Hiei had never liked the cold of the Human world much, though Kurama had seen him face down first class ice demons. 

On this trip he would be Shuiichi. He was going with some friends to visit America. He'd finally gotten to tell his mother the truth. He could never tell her the whole truth, despite how it hurt to lie to her. He loved her, and couldn't put her through the worry. 

"How's the language coming?" Kurama asked in clear English. Hiei glared at him. 

"They will never learn." Hiei stated in turn, with little accent. "Any ideas." 

Kurama shook his head. "I think we're just going to have to play along and observe these girls ourselves. There should be no reason for this confusion." 

"So something out of ordinary is going on." Kurabara said bluntly in Japanese. Hiei snarled. 

"Do not speak until you can to it in English. This is a mission. Do not take it lightly." 

"But-" 

"This is ridiculous." Hiei said harshly, surveying the cabin of their private plane. "I could have run here faster than this." 

"But Koenma say that... " Yusuke struggled. "We need paper trail." 

Kurama smiled. "Yes. We need for everything to be in order when we apply for part time jobs at Sears. Koenma has everything set up. All we need to do is show up and look presentable. They _need_ workers at this time of year, so it's the perfect time to go. We might not all get jobs any other time." 

"Wh... what kinds of jobs ... will we be doing?" Yusuke asked, a little more articulately. Little did they know, Kurama had slipped them the ground powder of a seed that would make them catch on faster... he had no idea why it wasn't working for Kuwabara. 

"Whatever department they give to us." Kurama answered. "Hopefully one of us will be close enough to where the women work so that we can observe them." 

"Likely?" Kuwabara said hesitantly. 

"I think it's possible. It'll depend on where they need help. And what Koenma put on our resumes." *** 

"I'm in Home Fashions." Kuwabara said dejectedly in perfect English. Yusuke laughed loudly. Kurama bit back another chuckled. 

"It's not so bad, Kuwabara." He reassured the redhead. "I got assigned to the Juniors Department." 

Blank looks enveloped him. 

"Clothing for teenage girls." 

Yusuke and Kuwabara fell out of their seats in laughter. 

"I'm gonna wet my pants!!!" Kuwabara snorted. 

"Kisama." Hiei muttered. Kuwarbara calmed himself a bit. 

"Speak in English or don't speak at all, Hiei." He said in mock seriousness. 

Hiei eyed him. "Stupid goat-fucking bastard." 

The manager who had just walked in turned completely red. 

"That kind of language isn't necessary, young man." The tall balding man said firmly. A middle-aged blond woman came in behind. 

"Maybe you should just say it in the other language!" She suggested, laughing gleefully. _There you go, Jonathan. You needed workers, and he's not my problem!_

Hiei raised a brow. "I apologize. I was discussing something with my comrade." 

Jonathan continued to give him an odd look. Had he used the wrong word? Comrade implied friendship... and they were posing as a group of roommates... 

"What?" Hiei finally said. Jonathan gave the woman an irritated look. _Bitch, she gets all the good natured ones._

"Are you Hiei... Makai?" 

"Yes." He replied flatly. 

"What the Hell happened, son? What's with the bandages?" 

Hiei glowered at him angrily. Foolish human. How dare he mock him? 

"I... was caught in a fire." He finally said. The blond woman smacked Jonathan's arm lightly. _Dumb lout! I can't believe he's so harsh with that poor child._

"Be more sensitive." She whispered, then turned to the boys. "I'm Sally Stanton and this is Jonathan Hatfield. Kazuma, Shuiichi, dear, I'll be your department manager. Yusuke and Hiei, you're under Jonathan. In a few minutes, our store trainer will get here with the other trainees and you can begin. Try to relax, dears." 

Kurama smiled warmly. "I'm sure we'll all be at home soon. Hiei just gets nervous in front over strangers." 

_And by that I mean lethal._ Kurama added to himself. 

"Well, you'll have to get over that pretty quick, son. We have a lot of business in electronics this season, and you'll have to keep up." Jonathan said, wishing he didn't get all the weird looking punks. Sally gave him another hard glance, but kept silent. 

"I'll keep up." Hiei said with an edge. Yusuke looked and saw a growing stain between Jonathan's legs. He looked quickly over to Hiei and noticed that his fangs were showing a little bit. Jonathan nodded silently and exited quickly. Sally moved over to the boys to do some damage control, unnoticing of her colleague's disgrace. 

"Don't worry about _anything_, boys. I know that in a few days you'll be doing this like you've done it all your lives. Oh, you too, Shuiichi dear." 

Kurama flushed and nodded amiably. _Why is she singling me out? At least I haven't scared the piss out of anyone. Hiei didn't even _do_ anything really._

"The girls will be delighted to have a boy over in Home Fashions, Kazuma. And you look like a big strong boy, too. I bet you can carry those George Foreman Rotisseries like they were nothin, huh?" 

"I'll do my best." He grinned. _Girls._

"Thata boy." She patted his arm. "I'll see you guys later." 

Hiei was grinning for some reason. 

"What is it, Hiei?" Kurama asked. A devilish smirk refused to leave the fire demon's lips. 

"You'll find out." He said. Kurama frowned. It wasn't like him to play around like this. 

"I guess we'd better be careful, Hiei. You practically scared that guy to death." Yusuke laughed. 

"Stupid American Humans." 

"Any worse than the Japanese ones? Hm?" Kuwabara poked at him. Hiei leaned back in his chair. 

"Hn. Only worse than _some_." 

"Hey!" *** 

"And when it's busy in here Shuiichi, it's all we can do to keep the clothes off the floor. We have to clean up _after_ closing." 

"There you go, Kazuma. Move those grills over there. Are we having fun yet?" 

"What? You don't know what a home entertainment system is?!" 

"Yusuke, if you cuss one more customer, yer out of here, got it?" 

Kuwabara glared at Yusuke as they went to the food court for lunch. "This assignment is gonna suck." 

"Tell me about it." *** 

"Who's that?" Yusuke pointed to the two young girls behind Kuwabara's register. He shrugged. They were both rather tall and slender, and one had startling purple hair. She turned around and leaned over the counter, sea green eyes sparkling merrily. 

"Hi! My name is Raederle Ayre Eunico. You're Kazuma right?" Kuwabara nodded dumbly. "This is Sarah. We'll be showing you how to close." 

The blond nodded. "The Sarge went home. Old ladies don't like to do nights, so that's stuck with us." 

"I'd better get back to my department. Sweaty Betty tends to wander off even if no one's around." 

Raederle laughed. "That's true. I'll have to tell you the Tuna Fish Story sometime." 

"Tuna?" 

"Damn, that was awful. What's wrong with her?" Sarah muttered. 

"Senile. See ya, Yusuke." 

Yusuke left the happy Kuwabara to get acquainted with his associates. The customers would be getting irritated by now. They were so impatient. Couldn't even wait a minute for him to finish with one before he was dragged to another. 

_Wait a minute…_ He stopped suddenly and took a discreet look back at the girls. _Did I give them my name?_ *** 

Yusuke straddled up to the Junior counter with a grin. "So how are you ladies today?" 

Kurama promptly tossed a package of panties at him. "Just great. Sherrie... this is Yusuke." 

"Hi," Sherrie said warmly. The perky girl was simply beautiful. Yusuke felt his cheeks color in a way that would get him slapped if Keiko were around. 

"You mind if I talk to Shuiichi for a minute?" 

Sherrie shook her head and went back to folding. Yusuke stuck his hands in his pockets and started to walk. Kurama followed closely. 

"Anything?" Yusuke asked, immediately switching to Japanese. Despite the need to be able to speak the native language fluently, they'd all decided that their own was best for private discussions. There were few people in the area who would understand enough Japanese to pick up on their mission. 

"Nothing so far. I did ask though, which Sherrie didn't seem to find odd at all. She said that it was getting pretty well known that Sailor Sears shows up here the most, despite the fact that she has visited other stores." 

"I heard that, too. Hiei said that no one in Brand Central knows who they are either. He's finding it hard to believe that even humans could be so stupid they couldn't recognize their coworkers in pleated skirts." 

"Yusuke, have you ever seen Sailor Moon?" Kurama stopped and looked at him seriously. Yusuke rolled his eyes. 

"Of course not. That's a girl Anime." 

"Well, I took the opportunity to watch a bit while you guys were polishing up your English. The Sailors don't even recognized each other when they're in uniform." 

"But... it's just a change of clothing." Yusuke protested. 

"I might be wrong, but I think it's really more than that. I think we'd better get Hiei to keep a third eye out." 

"Imagine what Jonathan would say to that." Yusuke laughed. Kurama cringed. 

"I know, we really need -" 

Just then a crashing sound came from across the store. Kurama looked back at Sherrie, who shrugged. He and Yusuke ran over to see the commotion. 

There, standing on top of a washer. Shining purple hair blowing dramatically behind her. Eyes sparkling in brilliant green fury. Fists on hips, and a short pleated skirt... 

"You have defiled the sanctity of the men's room!" She called angrily spiraling her arms around. "You have traumatized the weak and the young! I will not forgive you!" 

Another suited girl appeared behind her. 

"I won't either, you pervert! Think what you've done to that kid's psyche." The blond yelled. 

"I am Sailor Sears!" The purple haired girl said. The blond came up beside her. 

"And I am Sailor Home Fashions!" 

"In the name of Sears," They both called. "We will punish you!" 

"What did he do?" Kurama thought aloud. A customer in a suit turned to him and pointed at some young boys... and Hiei. The little fire demon was banging his head against the washing machine. 

"He was trying to molest some boys in the bathroom. And that kid with the starburst in his hair, threw him... literately, halfway across the store. Took out a wall." 

"Poor Hiei." Yusuke muttered. 

"You girls are really, too much." The blatantly gay man said, flipping his hand in their direction. 

"It's obviously too much to think that you can let your kid go to the bathroom without some sick, undersexed faggot trying to steal their virginity!" Sailor Home Fashions screamed. Sailor Sears hopped off the washing machine and got in his face. 

"You know, you're the reason homosexuality still has a bad name! You indulge your sick fantasies in public, so people think that all gays just think about sex! GET A LIFE!" 

"I'm more than a sicko, bitch." The man pulled out a knife and slashed at her. Sailor Sears jumped lithely out of the way, but he kept coming. 

"Should we do something?" Yusuke asked softly. Hiei walked up to them. 

"They can handle this. Besides, we need to watch them." He snuck behind Kurama and removed his ward, opening his third eye with interest. 

Swiftly Sailor Sears pulled a wand out of the air, which looked suspiciously like a fancy reach to get clothing from the top shelves. She nimbly deflected attack after attack. 

"Desist and I won't have to hurt you!" 

"Heh heh." The pervert laughed. "I plan on you being the one to get hurt, missy." 

He jumped up and did a flip in the air. Before he landed, he'd turned red, with a large silver horn protruding from the top of his head. He threw his hand out and blew Sailor Sears back with a gust of energy. 

"You cheat!" Sailor Home Fashions raised her arms up and glitter began to fall from the ceiling. "Home Fashions... Fluff and Fold!" 

Two giant towels slammed into the creature and while still dazed, some force bent him in several directions. 

"Sailor Sears!" Sailor Home Fashions said. "Now! Use your wand!" 

"Okay! I know!" Sailor Sears jumped up and began to spin around. "Sears Gorgerous... Takedown!" 

A spiraling rainbow of energy rushed the creature and after engulfing him, slammed him harshly on the floor. Yusuke could see that it had left a crater. 

"Sexy." The creature whispered, then reverted back to his scraggily human form. 

Sailor Sears narrowed her eyes in irritation and looked at her comrade. "Why do they always say that after we beat 'em up?" 

"I dunno." Home Fashions shrugged. "Ja ne, peeps. We're done here." 

The two girls jumped away, seemingly disappearing into thin air. 

"Sears Customers," Came a voice over the intercom. "We appreciate your patience with this most unfortunate matter. Like Sailor Sears, we do not tolerate deviant behaviors. If you need to speak to a manager, we have one available in the main office. Also, we now have an additional 25% off our clearance items in Apparel and Home Fashions, thank you and have a pleasant day." 

Yusuke started to laugh. Kurama looked at him oddly and wonder if retail wasn't have an affect on his sanity. 

"I'd better get back to my department. I'll talk at the apartment." *** 

"So, Hiei, was that really a demon?" Yusuke asked as soon as he walked into their living room. Hiei looked at him blankly. 

"Hn. He seemed to be a human. Until he transformed, then he had the Reikai of a regular demon." 

"How's that possible?" Kuwarbara asked. Hiei shrugged. 

"This is new." Kurama said. "I've never seen a case where they actually changed species. I couldn't even follow the transformation." 

"The power must come from an outside force." Hiei concluded. Yusuke nodded. 

"And the powers from the girls?" 

"Indefinable." Kurama sighed. "It does stem from their Reikai, though." 

"Sailor Sears may not be a demon, but I do not think she is human." Hiei stated. Yusuke looked puzzled. 

"What about the other one?" 

"I'll look at her more closely the next time. It seemed similar though. Perhaps they have become something else through their gain of power." 

"What about when they disappear and appear from thin air? Are they that fast?" Yusuke continued. "I couldn't follow it." 

"I couldn't either." Kurama admitted. Hiei sat down and pried off the dress shoes that Botan had packed for him. 

"They aren't that fast. They teleported." 

"This assignment is going to take awhile." Yusuke concluded, sighing. "If we can't tell anything about them, even after watching a fight." 

"Does anyone recognize these girls from their department?" Kurama asked. 

There was a round of shaking heads. 

"Damn. How can that be?" Yusuke said angrily. Kurama looked over at him. 

"I'm willing to bet, we won't be able to catch them by looks. Keep an eye on your coworkers, and try to notice any oddness. Anything that might intricate powers." 

"Hn." Hiei got up and headed for the shower. Kuwabara glared over at him. 

"What are you doing?" 

"I'm going to go to bed. I work in the morning." Hiei said with irritation. Yusuke collapsed on the couch as comically as he could. 

"Me too." He groaned. 


	2. Cryptic Mystery! Hub and Hardlines Make...

Cryptic Mystery! Hardlines and Hub Make the Scene!!

Hiei sought with all of his might to destroy the image in front of him. How vile and useless. He hated wearing a tie. 

"I cannot fathom how this makes me a more effective employee." He muttered bitterly to himself. Kurama peeked around the corner of the bathroom door. 

"You don't have to do that, Hiei. Not today." 

Hiei perked up. "How so?" 

"It's a dressdown day. Sherrie saw the sign taped on our register. We get to wear street clothes." Kurama smiled, buttoning up his silky pink shirt. Hiei gave him an amused look. Kurama didn't understand why his partner had been laughing at him since the first day, but figured he'd let him in on the joke sooner or later. He wiggled around in his jeans a bit as he watched Hiei strip off the black suit and hop across their room to find something suitable. _He's so cute. If only he knew how adorable he is… he'd probably use it as a weapon._

"Anything?" Hiei asked. 

"You should probably leave the sword here. Just be presentable." Kurama laughed, knowing that was what Hiei was thinking. He felt naked without a weapon, too, but had managed to hide a rose or two in his hair. It would only take a second to produce a whip if he needed it, and Hiei always had his fire. 

_He must really trust me._ Kurama mused as Hiei hopped around trying to get his black jeans on. _I don't think he'd ever let the others seen him without clothes. Unless he lost them in battle._

"Nice choice. Red looks good on you." Kurama grabbed his swipe card and tied his sneakers. Hiei shrugged and looked nonchalantly at his shirt. 

"Yukina picked it out. You know she and Botan packed these clothes. Except maybe yours." He raised a brow at his partner. _It is no wonder that Sally thinks of him so. Though I do not think anyone in Japan ever made the mistake. Or the Makai… hopefully this will work to our advantage._

Kurama grinned. "Can I help it if I have a devastating fashion sense?" 

"Hn." 

"Let's go, guys!" Yusuke yelled. "We're gonna be late!" 

Hiei follow Kurama out of the apartment and fell in step with the other guys. 

"Any leads, guys?" Yusuke asked slamming the door and taking the lead. The Sears Senshi hadn't shown up at their store since their first day, but they boys had all heard reports of them appearing in _other_ Sears location, as per usual, out of nowhere. 

"Not really." Kurama said nonchalantly. "I haven't noticed any special powers in the other girls in my department." 

"How about Sherrie? She seems pretty special." 

Kurama chuckled. "Especially happy. I don't think she's a Senshi though." 

"Never hurts to check it out. Have you 'eyed' anyone, Hiei?" Yusuke continued. 

"Hn. A few people. Nothing has come up." 

Yusuke sighed. He couldn't imagine how this investigation could be going any slower. Usually they were fighting the bad guys by the second day. 

They approached the store and Yusuke and Kuwabara nodded amiably to their co-workers passing by. 

"Let's pretend that these Senshi have a means to trick Hiei's jagan." Kurama proposed softly. Hiei sniffed and looked away. He'd suggested the idea to the fox demon only the night before. It wasn't an impossible idea. But he didn't like it. "It could be anyone. They wouldn't even necessarily be girls." 

Kuwabara paled. "Those could be guys??" 

"I'm just making the point. We don't know anything. Anything is possible." 

"So keep an open mind." Hiei concluded flatly as he hopped up to swipe his card. Yusuke turned his head quickly so that Hiei wouldn't see his grin. 

_Poor little, Hiei. They don't make clock-in stations for you!_

"Do all of you guys work today?" Came an innocent voice over the racks of towels. They had to pass by Kuwabara's department to get anywhere. 

"Not all of us, Rae." Kuwabara called. "We just walk together." 

They turned the corner to meet the smiling girls. Raederle leaned over the counter to shake their hands. Kuwabara snorted, suddenly realizing by the raising of Hiei's eyebrows why those guys in the Men's Department called her 'Flash'. He could see right down her pretty green shirt. _I wonder if she has black underwear to match._

"I haven't met you yet. You're Kurama, right?" 

Kurama shook her hand and flushed a bit. _How could she know?_

"No, that's Shuiichi, you dork. The one Sally just hired. Where in the world did you get Kurama? " Sarah exasperated. "Forgive her, it's all that English major stuff. Makes your mind go. " 

"No problem." Kurama said, laughing it off. Raederle frowned a little and cocked her head. 

"Must have read it somewhere. I'm not so good with faces and names." 

"And numbers and directions. I think Kurama was the bird lady from Urusei Yatsura." Sarah punched her lightly on the arm as Rae pulled a face at her. 

"Urusei..." Kuwarbara repeated softly, not sure whether or not they were being insulted. 

"Now the black haired guy I _haven't_ heard of." Sarah continued. 

"Sure you have." Rae said proudly. "He's Jonathan's new pet peeve." 

"Oh, yeah. Good job." She winked. "What's your name?" 

"Hiei." 

"Well, I'm Sarah and this is Rae..." She turned her head and motioned two other girls over. "And that one with the blue hair is Raederle's roommate, Bellezabble, but we call her Blue." 

They waved and the darker smaller girl nodded to them. "I"m Mia. I work in the Hub office. And... if anyone asks, you don't know who made the signs about the dressdown day." 

"You didn't!" Raederle said with surprise. Mia's brown eyes flew upward in innocence. "You did! I can't believe you actually did that. Kewl." 

"What's going on?" Kuwabara said, looked back and for at the girls. Sarah patted his shoulder. 

"The managers didn't decide this, Kuwa chan. She made the signs and put 'em on the registers... And I can't believe you did that." 

"I helped." Blue laughed. "We'll give Jonathan a heart attack this year, I swear." 

"A worthy goal." Sarah and Rae said in unison. 

"Hn." Hiei sniffed in approval. 

Belle winked at the boys and blew a kiss. "See you around." 

Hiei frowned and moved quickly away from the group. He could feel Raederle's eyes following him, even as he knew he was out of her line of sight. 

_Strange girl._ Hiei pulled back his ward to get a good look at the girls. _Hn. I can't even get an aura. Must be brickheads, to coin a phrase._

He pulled his ward back into place and headed for his department. 

***

Kurama flushed indignantly as another old human grabbed his rear. _What I wouldn't give to show him my rose..._

"Can I help you with something, sir?" Kurama asked sharply of the man who was grinning at him and drooling a bit. _I thought I was supposed to wait on girls! Not perverted old men! Homosexuality is certainly common in America. To an absurd extreme. No wonder Sailor Sears was angry, if they all act this foolish._

"I was hoping to purchase some nice lingerie for my niece." The man crooned. He was eyeing Kurama's chest, and the poor youkai was aghast at this man's behavior. "Perhaps you could show me something in your taste. I bet she'd like it, too." 

"Well, sir, if you'd go over to the Lingerie Department, I'm sure they could help you find something." Kurama felt a large sweatbubble beside his head. _I'm not modeling girl's underwear for you, old man. I don't care if you give me a bad PSE._

"Oh, you know as much as them, surely. Give it a try, sweetheart." 

"Excuse me." A loud brash voice came from behind him, and Kurama turned swiftly to see Bellezabble standing there with her arms crossed and her eyebrows askew. "Sir, if you'd like to see some lingerie, I'd suggest you go to that department. We need Shuiichi to be working _here_." 

"Uh... hum. Yes. Thank you very much." The elderly man scuttled off, in the direction of the exit rather than the Lingerie Department. 

"Damn freak. I bet if they got some cameras in here they'd leave us alone." Belle sniffed disdainfully. "Sweetheart! How awful." 

"Thank you." Kurama smiled up at her. She was rather tall, just a bit taller than himself. She put her hand on his shoulder lightly. 

"Have you had your break yet?" 

"No, I was waiting on Hiei." Kurama reached down and began a valiant attempt of straightening the clothes. Blue shrugged. She ran a hand through her cropped, ever messy locks, tossing them backwards easily. 

"He should be over here soon. Mind if I join?" 

"I don't see-" 

Kurama was cut off by Hiei's sudden appearance. 

_Be more careful, Hiei._ Kurama looked to Bellezabble to see if she'd noticed anything, but she didn't seem phased in the least by the blur that was Hiei. 

"Ready." Hiei demanded. He looked skeptically up at the towering Blue. 

"I have to swipe out first." Kurama apologized, walking over and tapping Sherrie on the shoulder. She blushed as she saw Belle and nodded for him to vacate. 

"Done." Hiei said as he once again blurred back into the department. He'd swiped the fox's swipe card! Kurama frowned, and looked again to see if either of the girls had noticed. Sherrie was waiting on a particularly annoy woman who they were sure had been in there the other day shoplifting. Belle was grinning at Hiei. 

"It's good to take things into your own hands, ne?" She smiled broadly. "C'mon. Let's get away from this hell pit for a while." 

Hiei and Kurama exchanged a questioning glance as the three took stride and fled the evil retail store in search of a cheap lunch. 

"So how are you guys liking Sears?" Blue asked, shoving her hands in her pockets. Kurama noted her clothing warily. _She works over in Hardlines. I haven't seen many young women over there. How old can she be? Nineteen maybe?_

"We're not." Hiei said shortly. Belle looked at him expressionlessly for a moment, then grinned deviously. 

"Of course, nobody would work there if they didn't have to." Belle agreed leaning her the backs of her elbows on the counter as they waited. "The work is hard, the customers are bratty, and the pay is laughable. But they have flexible hours, and that's all that matters to college kids." 

"Are you in college, Blue?" Kurama asked, taking a place in line. The girl shook her head. 

"Nah. I work here because Rae does. She's one of my roommates, and I make sure she doesn't get lost getting here." 

"Certainly she can't be that hopeless." Kurama teased. Blue smiled and shook her head. 

"We call her the Eternally Lost Girl. True, she can find her way to places she's been before, but forget about it if she hasn't. I remember one time she was on her way to a friend's house in another town. Ended up all the way to a _different_ town in the opposite direction." 

Kurama chuckled. Blue stepped up to the cashier. "What do you guys want? I'll pay." 

"That's not necessary. We have money." 

Belle waived her hands. "Forget about it. It's on me today. Call it a welcome lunch." 

Kurama had a bad feeling, like Hiei was laughing at him again. He was really going to let the fire demon have it when they got home. 

"Kurama will have a light chicken sandwich and a sweet tea. I'll have a spicy chicken sandwich and a chocolate milkshake." Hiei said, giving Kurama a low nudge. Belle winked at Hiei from over Kurama's head, and he wondered if this was just American insanity he was experiencing. 

Kurama waited anxiously as they got their food and took a seat. Belle and Hiei both sipped away at their milkshakes giving Kurama odd looks. Distinctively different looks, but odd just the same. 

"I swear, all the people in the Juniors Department are on diets." Blue complained. "You look fine, you know." 

"Just trying to keep my girlish figure." Kurama laughed, trying to lighten the mood for himself. It apparently worked, because Hiei burst into laughter so hard, chocolate milk almost spurted out his nose. 

"Have a napkin, hon." She grinned at Hiei. "Nonsense. It's girlish enough." 

"I just like to keep in shape." Kurama replied. He was hoping to steer the conversation to a more productive topic for their search than his figure. "It's always good to be able to take care of yourself." 

"Oh, goddess bless, yes." Blue agreed. "My girlfriends and I always practice moves together. You never know what kind of weirdo is waiting by your car, and they'll be opening the mall until eleven soon. In the Juniors department, you'll never get out of there until eleven thirty at least. It scares me when my friends are driving home that late. And you walk, don't you?" 

"Yes. Me and my roommates all walk together." 

"Well, at least you have three strong men protecting you." 

"I can protect myself." Kurama said a bit miffed. _Even among humans they underestimate me. There's no gang in this world that could even phase me despite this human form._

"Don't worry. I'll keep our little Shuiichi safe." Hiei said slyly catching his partner's eye mischievously. Kurama frowned and tried his best not to cuss at his partner in Japanese. 

"Looks like Shuiichi doesn't want to be kept safe." Bellezabble mused. "Maybe you and I could keep each other safe, ne? Or would that bother you, Hiei?" 

"Not at all. Shuiichi's all yours." 

_Hiei, you bitch._ Kurama raised a brow at the two plotting against him. Belle had designs on him, he could tell. And Hiei knew he wasn't prepared to get involved with a human, who probably would be harmed by her relation to him. He sighed. "We'll see." 

"A chance is good enough for me. It isn't often a person as beautiful as yourself shows up around here." Belle said gently, removing the former blatant arrogance from her voice as she cupped Kurama's chin and smiled. Her hand was cold as a sword on a snowy night, but her eyes more than compensated with warmth. 

"A-arigato..." Kurama muttered before realizing what language he'd been using. _At least I know her and her friends all work out. That's something._

Kurama rubbed his neck uncomfortably. "We should get back." 

"I'll see you when you get off." Hiei grabbed the trays and disappeared. Kurama felt Bellezabble's affectionate stare on the back of his turned head. He narrowed his eyes and looked into hers. 

"I'll walk you back to your department." She offered, lending a hand for him to get up. Kurama took it reluctantly. 

"I think I'd like that." 

***

"Aww." Koemna groaned, spinning around in his chair. "This mission is so borrrring!" 

"What did you expect?" George asked as he slammed a huge pile of papers on his desk. 

"Shuddup!" 

***

"I'm sorry, m'am, but you'll have to take a gift card." Kurama explained calmly. For the third damn time. "Since you don't have your receipt, I can't give you cash or put it back on your Visa." 

"I want to talk to a manager!" The portly blond woman demanded, slamming her palms on the counter. Kurama checked himself just before rolling his eyes. Sally wouldn't like this at all, but she'd at least be nice to the woman. 

He picked up the phone and paged Sally. "Number 6 to Juniors. Number 6 to Juniors." 

"Hey!" Came the immediate answer as soon as he picked up the ringing phone. 

"Yeah, this is Shuiichi. I have a customer here who wants to return a few dresses, but she doesn't have her receipt, and she'd like to put it back on her Visa." 

"Did you tell her about the gift card? You know I can't let her put it on the card?" 

"I did." 

"And she wants to see me?" Sally didn't sound surprised. "You think she stole it?" 

"Maybe." Shuiichi said emotionlessly, turning his face from the customer for a moment. "What's alertX?" 

"Oh, you took her phone number? Did it say that next to her name?" 

"Both names." 

"Oh my... I'll be right out." 

Kurama looked at the screen dubiously. That woman already had two different names on here under alert from asset protection. And she was certainly too heavy to fit in those dresses. And no bag. 

Sally came hustling around the corner. "Hi! What's the problem?" 

Kurama briefly wanted to slam his head in the change drawer as he explained the situation for a fifth time. 

"Oh, no m'am, I absolutely _have to have_ proof of purchase to give you your money back. We can give you a gift card though? It works at every Sears for up to two years?" 

"I paid for it on my damn card, and I don't appreciate this nonsense. I want it back on my card!" The woman spat at them. Sally scrunched her shoulders apologetically. 

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, but I can't do that without some sort of _proof of purchase_!" 

"Well, I'll just take these then." The woman angrily grabbed the expensive, variously sized dresses and glared at them indignantly. "Me or my friend will never shop here again!" 

She started to stalk away, but stopped midstride and swung back around and swept the Gift Card holder off the counter and across the floor. 

"Stop right there, slimeball!" 

Sally grabbed her chest in alarm and drew a sharp breath. With a wind blowing her short-cropped hair, a new suited girl stood defiantly in the path of the deviant shopper. 

"You terrorize young sales associates, pretending to be the innocent victim! When you're really a dirty thief!" Her deep, strong voice echoed throughout the store. "Well, you're not going to get away with it, you shoplifting bitch!" 

"You're the reason we can't trust our customers!" Another voice yelled. "You're the reason we have to raise prices." 

"I am Sailor Hub!" The small-boned young black woman cried. 

"And I'm Sailor fuckin Hardlines, and you're in _so_ much trouble." 

The black woman turned her head. "That's not the line, Hardlines." 

Hardlines snorted. "Like I care." 

"You skinny little tramps don't scare me." The portly woman stepped backward and suddenly swelled up like a balloon. "Wah ha ha!" 

She lunged for Hardlines and smashed her into the wall. The blue haired Senshi squealed in disgust. 

"Gross! Damn, get some Jenny Craig or something!" 

Kurama pulled Sally behind the counter and contemplated helping the girls. _Where's Hiei?_

"Get offa me, you fat slut! I don't do fugly chicks!" 

Hub hung her head. "You're so shallow, Hardlines!" 

"Eeeech!" 

The bloated beast continued to flatten Hardlines with her blubber, slowly suffocating the Senshi. Kurama decided enough was enough. Leaping over the counter, Kurama delivered a swift kick to the nasty woman and knocked her out of the way like an over inflated beach ball. 

"Thanks!" Hardlines leaped up and planted a kiss on Kurama's cheek. "That was great. Now get out of the way, hon, before you get hurt." 

"I'm on it! Time to pop this bitch like a balloon animal! A hippo!" Sailor Hardlines spun her arms around and ended up in a muscle flexing position. "Hardlines, Frooont Blocking!" 

WHAMM!!! 

Kurama and everyone else watching gaped in shock as a refrigerator slammed into the enemy. Deflated but still angry, the woman made another dash for Hardlines. 

"Home Fashions Fluff and Fold!" 

Sally fell over as the towels once again attacked the enemy. 

"Sears! Home Fashions! You're here!" Hub exclaimed. Home Fashions cocked her head at her. 

"Duh, like we couldn't hear this all the way across the mall." 

"Sailor Sears! Attack her now!" Hardlines yelled. Sailor Sears fumed and stamped her foot. 

"Okay, I know! You don't have to tell me every time. Sears Gorgeous Takedown!" 

"Sexy..." The creature sputtered as it slowly returned to a somewhat normal looking human being. 

"Why the hell do they say that?" Home Fashions demanded motioning in exasperation with her hands. Sears giggled as Hardlines struck a pose. 

"They's just talking bout me!" 

"Oh, my." Kurama said to himself. He turned around to see Hiei glaring at the girls. He turned his head to Kurama and shrugged. _Still, nothing. And that's all of them._

"Oh, and thank Shuiichi here. That kick really saved my arse." The blue haired girl said beaming. Sears and Home Fashions looked him over. 

"That's a cute one." Home Fashions noted. Sears bobbed her head in agreement. 

"Thanks a lot for the help. See you around, ne?" 

And all four girls disappeared. 

"Shuiichi, dear." Sally said getting up and dusting herself off. "Why don't you take off? It's been a stressful day for everyone, and Darla comes in in a few minutes anyway." 

"Thank you, Sally." Kurama gave her a little bow. Hiei had disappeared when he looked into the racks for him, so he decided to just go home and analyze what they'd already found. 

_Bellezabble... she's a very strong girl. Actually, so is Hardlines. I can't believe a human girl could withstand all that pressure for so long. She must be incredibly powerful. Hub hasn't used an attack yet, but if it's as strong as the others, this force could prove very useful to the Spirit World._

Kurama grabbed his coat and began to walk out the door. 

"Shuiichi?" A deep voice called. He saw the smiling face of Belle looking down on him fondly. "You need some company home?" 

She took one of his hands, and blew on it to warm it up. Her hands were still so cold, but inside she was warm. Her breath was sweet and smelled of vanilla. 

"I'm alright. Sally let me off early, so I thought I'd go home and fix the boys some dinner." 

"Still, mind if I join? It'll be dark by the time you get to your apartment." Belle creased her brow in worry. She wasn't about to let her pretty find get harmed so early in their relationship. Kurama smiled at her. 

"If you wish." 

"I wish." Bellezabble put her arm around Kurama's shoulder and began to heat him up. 

"I really do like you, Shuiichi." She admitted after a few minutes. "I hope you don't mind that I'm a girl, saying this." 

Kurama flushed. "Oh, I don't mind at all." 

"I thought so. You're so honest, and sweet." They continued to walk along the cold streets. "I'd like to see you outside of work." 

"Well... Blue..." 

"I don't think Hiei's my competition, if I'm reading you right. You're just afraid to get close. I can take it slow, Shuiichi." 

"Maybe that will be best." Kurama replied honestly. _And maybe we'll be off this mission before I find myself in too deep with her. I think I could care about this girl... one weakness is enough._

"Then slow it is. How much farther?" 

"Not far." 

"You know, the other girls told me to forget about you. That I'd never get you this far." 

"I can be elusive." Kurama said softly, feeling himself lean into her side. _Like a Fox_

"So can I. I'm not what I appear to be." 

_Not what she appears to be? Could she be a Sears Senshi?_

"Here." They stopped in front of the apartment building. 

Bellezabble cupped Kurama's face with both hands, and gave him a deep, sensual kiss. He felt the sent of vanilla pervade every sense, and leaned into the kiss hungrily. How long had it been since he'd been in an honest relationship? He could barely remember. Of course, this would have to end eventually, and she would have to forget she ever knew him, but for the time being... he could try... 

Belle let go, both of them gasping for air. 

"Shuiichi, I'll wait however long you want, but do you want to go out this Friday? We can go play pool with some friends, and maybe get some dinner, if it feels alright by then." She offered casually. Kurama put his hand to his head, thinking. 

"Alright." _Maybe I can figure out if she has special powers, not that I can fool myself into thinking I don't want to go for other reasons... an itch can only wait to be scratched for so long, and I won't be able to have any fun with Hiei while Yusuke and Kuwabara are living with us._

"I swear, you're so beautiful." Belle said as she walked away. "I'm so glad you're on our team." 

"Team?" Kurama paused as he opened the front door. 

"Yeah." She said bluntly. "Boys don't deserve a pretty girl like you." 

Belle stuck her hands in her pockets and headed back to the store, presumably to meet up with her roommate. 

"A pretty girl like you." Kurama breathed in shock. "Hiei's laughing... Sally's exclusion... those old men... they put me in _Juniors_." 

Kurama stood for a moment with his mouth open, in a state of vulnerability at which he would cringe later. He could barely speak the words. 

"Everyone here thinks I'm a girl!!" He growled, rushing inside and slamming the door violently. Then it dawned on him. 

"By next week, everyone here is going to think I'm a lesbian." 


	3. Equal Romance! Stockboys Are Annoying!!

Rae: Blame this chapter on Jari and Kuriko. They wanted to read it, so it unearthed my amusement at this plotline and behold! The Sears Senshi Saga arises! 

**Equal Romance! Stockboys Are Annoying!!**

Yusuke woke to the wonderful aroma of Kurama's cooking. It was odd, since they should have been taking turns, and the fox had already cooked for them the night before, whipping up a fantastic meal with the little means he had, and silently retiring to bed before anyone could get a word out of him. 

"I wouldn't go in there." Hiei warned stoically, looking up at the groggy detective. 

"Why not?" Yusuke stumbled into the kitchen to get a glass of water and was met by fierce green eyes. 

"I am a man." Kurama stated. "I _am_ a man." 

"Um. Okay. Can I get some water?" 

Kurama frowned at him, filled a glass and shoved it in his face. 

"Okay. Geez." Yusuke mumbled as he made his way back into the living room. "Who works this morning?" 

"Me." Kuwabara answered, coming out of their room coming his hair. "Smells good, Kurama, wha-" 

Yusuke flung himself against Kuwabara and clamped his hand over his mouth. 

"Don't bother him." Yusuke warned. Hiei was perched on the arm of the couch, cross-legged, smirking derisively at them all. 

"I will accompany you to the store." Hiei told them. "Without my other duties, I should be better able to ascertain strange behavior from the humans." 

"He's right." Kuwabara admitted. "It's impossible to keep an eye on the other employees when those evil bitches are breathing down your next." 

"Melanie, the customers, or the demons?" Yusuke grinned. Kuwabara burst out laughing. 

"Sarah and Rae do the cutest thing when they hear her coming!" 

"Idiot. If you have time to notice that, you should have time to notice whether or not they act strangely." Hiei said flatly. Kuwabara sneered but ignored him. 

"You can hear her heels clacking against the floor, and Rae can hear it before we can, so she'll nudge Sarah and they'll go: dun du-dun du- duu duu dun du-dun du- duu duu." Kuwabara continued, in his best impression of the little song. Yusuke looked at him blankly. 

"What does that mean?" 

"It's the theme music for the Wicked Witch of the West." Kurama told them sharply, balancing plates as he came into the room. "A rather old America film." 

"Wicked witch?" Yusuke asked, taking a plate. "Well, that damn well fits. She annoys me! With all her rules. She's always coming up behind me like I don't do my job right!" 

"Do you?" Kurama asked, sitting on an ataman. Yusuke rubbed his nose and grinned. 

"Most of the time, I do. What the fuck does she know about shoes anyway? She's wearing those loud clodhoppers." 

"Hm. I doubt she'd appreciate your input." 

"Nice breakfast, fox. You'll make someone a good housewife someday." Hiei noted, looking up at the ceiling. Kurama stood and pulled a rose from his hair. 

"Not in the apartment!!" Yusuke yelled. 

"I. AM. A. MAN!!!" He cried, releasing his rose whip and breaking the plate in Hiei's hand. Hiei snarled back and began to unwrap his ward. 

"No! No! Nooohoo!" Yusuke wailed, standing between the two. "If we blow our cover we'll have to start this thing all over!!" 

"Look on your papers, fox." Hiei replied, ignoring their supposed leader. Kurama's face relaxed into complete blankness. 

"I know, Hiei. I _know_." Kurama slumped back down onto his seat and starred with animosity at the wall. 

"Too bad. Seemed like she liked you." 

"Why should it be too bad?" The flaming mane shifted as a sly grin spread across his face. Hiei frowned deeper. 

"For obvious reasons." 

"Not so obvious apparently. I've had an itch lately. You didn't seem to mind when Belle was picking me up." Kurama took off his apron and headed for their room to get dress. "Maybe I'll scratch it." 

Hiei grabbed his black coat and headed out the door silently. Yusuke sat back down on the couch to finish his breakfast, and contemplate the fact that they had no real outlet for their aggressions, and two angry and rather randy demons to deal with. 

***

"Now, Sailor Sears!" 

Sailor Sears twirled her wand around swiftly with purpose, and with a mighty force... 

Bonked Home Fashions on the head. 

"I do _not_ need you guys to tell me when to attack!" She insisted. Home Fashions stuck her tongue out. 

"Then I _won't_ tell you it's coming right this way." 

"Eeep!" Sears made a break for it but got caught by a tentacle. "Fuck!" 

Out of nowhere a stockcart came flying, and ripped through the tentacle holding Sears. 

"Now, Sailor Sears!" Came a voice from the direction the cart had come flying. Sears growled. 

"I especially don't need any help form you, you skank. You could have hit me with that!" She told the strange guy who was edging up close to her. She rammed a palm into his face. "Shouldn't you be in a tux or something?" 

The guy in civies scratched the back of his head. "Tuxes _cost_. Sides, I just got up a few minutes ago." 

Sears rolled her eyes and looked at the other three. "I'm surrounded." 

She wound up and did her attack. 

"Sexy...." 

Hardlines looked at them. "Ever feel like yer in a rut?" 

"We should tape their mouths shut before they get beat. I feel like I'm getting molested vicariously." Hub suggested, whisking away. 

Hiei watched the girls as they jumped off, one by one. Sears paused. She looked at the man severely. 

"Dammit, StockBoy. Give me my underwear back." 

"No. They're mine." He grinned at her. She twitched a bit and pinned him to the wall with her wand. 

"Fine, freak. Just stay out of our way. We don't need guys on our team." She snarled, jumping into the air. 

"Lesbian." StockBoy muttered. Hiei mentally laughed at the man. 

_Oh, there seem to be quite a few in this store. Even if some of them are guys._

***

Out of the corner of his eye, Hiei caught sight of the girl they called Raederle walking briskly towards his direction. A dark red substance was all over her hands, which she held rigidly apart from her body. Noting the look of disgust on her face, Hiei smirked. 

"Kill someone?" 

"Ch'. Not yet." She sighed wearily. "This isn't blood. It's candle snot." 

Hiei blinked. Did he understand the language right? "What?" 

"One of those raspberry gel candles got too hot and started to ooze. It snotted on me, dammit." She headed into the ladies room. 

"Be careful in there." He said just loud enough for her to hear. 

"No _doubt_." She called tersely over her shoulder. "I think someone's ass exploded in here." 

_and Rae can hear it before we can,_

Hiei continued on his way to the breakroom. _That girl has pointed ears. I should have noticed before. The illusions the Sears Senshi cast must dampen all forms of observance._

"What are you grinning at?" Kuwabara asked, poking Hiei as he entered the breakroom. 

"Nothing." He snapped, returning his face to its usual glowering mask. "I have come to the conclusion that the presence of the Sears Senshi is dampening the observance of all creatures residing in this store." 

"That would explain why their coworkers can't recognize them." Kuwabara said obtusely. Hiei nodded seriously. 

"We should attempt to draw the Senshi to another location, so their powers will not be as strong, and we can identify them." 

"Koenma will pay for this." Kurama promised them coldly handing the boys their lunches quickly as he entered the room. Kuwabara dug into the bag and ignored both of the demons. "He didn't even tell me he'd filled out my papers as though I were a girl! He simply assumed they would come to that conclusion!" 

"Well." Hiei said. "They did." 

"That's not the point." 

"It got you a girlfriend." 

Kurama glared at him. "That it did. I suppose I won't be needing you anymore." 

Hiei blinked at him and kept his bored expression. Kurama retreated from the breakroom irritably, saying nonchalantly: "Tell me what you find when you get home." 

"I said I wanted it slow. We can keep it slow. And I can keep my cover." He sighed softly to himself as he walked through the hallway. "Damn that godling brat." 

_Hiei's not even jealous! Oh, well, I suppose he has no reason to be. Once Belle realizes I'm a man, she won't be interested anymore, which is why he finds this humorous rather than threatening. I wish he'd make an attempt, though._

Oddly enough, he could feel Hiei's eyes on him suddenly, and looked up to see his tall, oblivious lover standing in front of him. 

"Hey, baby." He said casually. He could feel Hiei's youki rising just a bit. He was angry. 

Belle smiled and slid an arm around his waist. "You look great. Are you working today?" 

"Nope. Just dropping off lunch for the boys." 

"Big sister routine?" She laughed, walking him out the door. 

"Something like that." He replied, speeding up. _Not jealous, Hiei? Well, perhaps this will teach you to take me more seriously._

When his fox was out of earshot, Hiei growled deep and low in his throat. 

"What's your problem?" Kuwabara asked him. 

"Nothing." Hiei glared at him. Kuwabara shrugged and continued eating his sandwich. Realizing that this investigation was going nowhere, Hiei had taken his day off to flit around the store, "eyeing" every human available. Oddly enough, he couldn't get a ki reading on the purple haired one, or any of her friends. Either this was a breeding ground for bricks, or Hiei suspected these girls were up to something. He'd have to take a closer look somehow. 

He ate the banana sandwich that Kurama had prepared for him quickly, and headed out into the mall again to keep an eye on those strange girls. 

***

"I'll need to see your driver's license, please." Sarah said politely to her customer. Hiei was sitting inconspicuously in between a rack of cotton throws, decorated in happy snowmen and various prints of a fat man with a beard, and had been observing her actions. Sarah didn't really need to see the license, because, as he'd observed, the girl simply punched in the number before reading it on the card. Prescience, telepathy, the girl had some kind of power, and he wasn't able to read it. 

At that point, Hiei pondered if this was how Kurama often felt. Since his battle with Karasu, his senses had increased greatly, but were still nothing in comparison to what he'd been accustomed as the Youko. He was precisely a weakened form of his former self, simply different, and such a change must have been difficult for him to adapt. 

Hiei did not doubt himself, however. He knew something strange must be surrounding the girls, so that his Jagan could not see what they were doing. Perhaps it was a phenomenon caused by the Sears Senshi's presence. Their illusion magic spread to the ordinary citizens. 

Regardless of his findings, he headed out to observe more of the associates. 

"Hi!" A brown haired man with large circular glasses approached him eagerly. He prepared for a fight. "I'm Ryo, I'll be working with you when you work next. I've been on vacation." 

Hiei ran his eyes down the tall, slender man's body. He was quite attractive, in an introverted computer geek sort of way. Kurama had friends over on occasion studying, who had a similar build. He was a bit stronger in the arms however, which pulled pleasingly on the fabric of his work shirt. 

"I am Hiei. How did you know who I am?" 

"I'm a friend of Rae and the girls. She described you for me, too. Dark and serious, with large, pretty red eyes and black hair. She also mentioned the bandages, or wards or whatever." 

"Wards. Hn." Hiei looked up at him, masking all emotions so that he could not read what he was thinking. Quickly he scanned the human for a reiki, and came up with a light blue aura, just strong enough to have a vague sense of those around him. Ryo was not blocked. 

Ryo smiled easily and pushed his glasses up on his nose. "I'm glad Belle likes you, too. She can be hard to get along with, though I hope her new girlfriend works out. She's had trouble sometimes." 

"Such as picking a boy for a girlfriend." 

Ryo blushed. "Ye gods. You've heard already? Oh, well don't think too badly of her. She's not from around here, and can't tell so easily." 

"She isn't the only one. Where is she from?" 

Ryo crossed his arms and looked down at the little fire demon. "I'm not really sure. I bet Sarah would know, if not her, Rae definitely." 

"Hn." Hiei replied, leaving the conversation abruptly. 

"Nice talking to you!" Ryo waved. 

Hiei almost came back after him, reading the thought the unwitting human projected immediately after. 

_And a nice little ass too!_

***

"So we finally get to fight!" Yusuke said happily. Hiei looked him his direction, sipping his miso soup, but said nothing. 

"For the purposes of testing Hiei's theory, yes." Kurama explained. "If their powers of illusion do not extend outside of Sears, we may be able to identify them." 

"But we get to fight them, and bring them back to Koenma, right?" Yusuke said eagerly. 

"I don't want to fight a bunch of girls." Kuwabara frowned. 

"Then don't. We don't need you." Hiei snapped. "I have reason to believe that your girlfriend may be the source of our troubles. A friend of hers today insinuated that she was not of this place." 

"How do we find out?" 

"You must interrogate your coworkers, ningen." 

Kuwabara shrugged. "Whatever to speed this along." 

"Until then, we must test them." 

***

"These new towels match your hair, Kuwa chan!" Rae laughed, holding it up for him to see. He looked over at her and threw at towel at her. She was so often straight-faced, completely serious, or emotionless, he couldn't tell. He liked it when the girls laughed and smiled with him, even though he'd guessed by now that neither Rae nor Sarah were interested. It just gave him a better reason to be faithful to Yukina. 

She calmed her face and turned to ask a man in the cookware if he needed any help. 

"Nah, I'm just lookin, hon." He smiled at her. Rae nodded and pranced over to sit on the counter. 

"You're crazy today." 

"It's been slow, I have good reason to be happy." She yawned widely. "Hey… do you guys want to come with me and Belle for pool on Friday night? We know this place that's open all night." 

"That sounds fun. I think Belle already invited Ku… Shuiichi." 

"I'm not surprised." Raederle informed him flatly. Her ears perked and she hopped off of the counter and began straightening things around the registers. Before he could ask what was wrong, the sound of clip-clopping made him freeze. 

"Hello, sir." Melanie said over-brightly. "Can I help you pick out some cookware today?" 

The man swiftly turned to her. "I SAID NO!!" 

The woman blinked, smile unfreezing. "Okay!" 

Raederle and Kuwabara bit their tongues as she clip-clopped out of their department. The man turned to them and wiggled his eyebrows good-naturedly. The two associates broke out in laughter. 

"Ding dong, the bitch is dead." Rae sang softly. 

Their merriment was disrupted by a disturbance by the front entrance, and Rae nodded to Kuwabara as she ran to see what it was. A huge checkbook slammed its fists against the register and tossed the hapless Lawn and Gardens employee across the walkway. 

"Stop right there!" Sailor Hardlines ran across the store, making her way through the crowd to get at the monster. "You can't treat salesbitches like that!" 

"Oh, can't I? The customer is always right!! Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back!" The checkbook taunted her. Hardlines crossed her arms irritably. 

"Bring a fucking photo ID when writing a check! I can guess what happened here, you idiot. The system did a random call to Equifax and you were too dumb to bring an ID, so you can't get it cleared! Well, screw you, hippie." 

"Nice, Hardlines, really classy." Sailor Hub said as she walked in. Rae eyed Kuwabara as he was watching the fight. Slowly she moved to leave. 

"It's okay. I'll make sure you don't get hurt, Rae." Kuwabara insisted. She forced a smile. 

"Thanks." She said appreciatively through gritted teeth. 

Just then a shoe came flying across the crowd, slamming into the giant checkbook. 

"You annoy me!" Yusuke yelled, tossing another shoe and heading for the door. The checkbook followed suit and Kuwabara got the feeling that the Sears Senshi were starring right at him expectantly. 

"Don't blame me!" He said. Rae slithered away from the heavy hand on her shoulder and raised her index fingers to her lips, her hands forming an L shape as she gently chanted the words. It was the barest hint of a whisper, and Kuwabara couldn't make it out. Only a bit. 

"…see. Power… By….make…" Whatever it was, she chanted it three times, and then nodded to the other girls, who promptly darted outside. 

Yusuke was hard pressed not to use his abilities against this thing, since otherwise he'd have to let it beat him up for throwing shoes at it. Hardlines grabbed him by the cuff of his shirt just in the knick of time. He was about to get a deadly paper cut. 

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She demanded of him. Yusuke shrugged. 

"Just… reminded me of half the jerks I have to deal with." He made up lamely. Hardlines eyed him suspiciously, but Hub cleared her throat loudly. 

"Excuse me, girl. But we have to stop this thing. It's smashing cars." 

Hardlines sighed and dropped him to the ground. 

"You have violated the sacred trust between customer and sales rep." Hub began, twirling her little transformation wand. 

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Hardlines asked her. 

"Shuddap. I'm working." Hub said to her, then focused her attention back on the monster. "You have attempted to use someone else's identity, and for that, I won't forgive you!" 

"Hub, hon-" 

"Quiet! I am Sailor Hub, and how would you like _your_ financial merit ruined, you sick freak?" A grin sparked her face and she raised both of her hands to the air. A rush of blue energy came up. "Hub CREDIT CHECK!!" 

Immediately she threw her arms down like in a race and thousands of credit cards came rushing over the monster, slicing it to pieces in front of them. On ropes, it fell to its knees. 

Hardlines blinked, and leaned over to Hub. "Can we change it back without her?" 

Hub kept the smile on her face as she looked down at the fallen foe. "I have no fucking idea." She hissed. 

The two brightened up as Sailor Sears dropped in out of nowhere. "Sorry I'm late, guys." 

"Now!" Hardlines insisted. Sears gave her a cold glare and Hardlines looked away and tapped her foot. 

"Alrighty, here we go!" She shoved her large wand into the air and screamed. "Sears Gorgeous Takedown!" 

The rainbow energy whooshed the checkbook into the air, spinning him around and sucking out all of the remaining negative energy. Then, it slammed it into the pavement. Slowly it changed into a high school jock. 

"Prolly took his dad's checkbook." Hub muttered. She squeeked when a huge stockcart came flying their way. "Damn you Stockboy!" 

"Eh… sorry I'm late girls." He mocked, rubbing up against Sailor Sears. She twitched a little then put the sharp edge of her wand up to his crotch. 

"Touch me again, pube boy, and you'll really be one of us, kay?" She perkily jerked her head to the side as she said the last word, and Stockboy paled. 

"Y'know, you guys are supposed to be drooling after me. Like in the cartoon. Y'all all want me and only Sears gets to get her scrog on with me." 

"Ch'." Sears dismissed him loudly. "Give us something drool worthy and maybe you'll get your wish." 

"Like Sherrie." Hardlines grinned. Hub shook her head. 

"I don't even swing that way and it looks like a better choice right now." She pushed Stockboy away with one dainty hand. "Go on home boy. She don't want you." 

"Aww." He sighed, groping Sailor Sears' rear end as he left. 

"If you steal one more pair of my panties I swear you're paying for the replacements at Victoria Secrets!" She threatened, whacking him on the head with her wand. The Stockboy ran off. She sighed. 

"What took you so long?" Hardlines said before they took off. 

"I'm supposed to change in front of a crowd?" Sears rebutted. And then they disappeared. 

Yusuke groaned and headed back into the store barefoot. 

***

Yusuke sprawled himself over the couch. 

"Damn, they're strong. I wonder who would give them that much power?" He dug his toes under a pillow for warmth. "Back to the drawing board." 

"It was a good plan anyway." Kurama remarked, mostly for Hiei's benefit. 

"Hn." 

"It would have worked." Kuwabara said. The others looked at him. "What? It would have, but the girls caught on to what would happen if they went outside with you there, Urameshi. They waited a minute before they went outside." 

"Maybe they had some way of activating the illusion outside of Sears." Kurama suggested, taking the new information into account. He rubbed his chin. "Did you notice anything else out of the ordinary?" 

Kuwabara shrugged. "Not really." 

"We may have to take more drastic measures." Hiei said darkly. He was getting sick of this mission. No real danger or challenge. Except… getting Rapid Credits… He shuddered. 

"We still have some time." Kurama informed them evenly. "Something may turn up. Until then, we may have to consider capturing the Sears Senshi. Or even fighting them ourselves." 

***

Koenma turned to George from his chair and said: "You'd think I'd at least get to see the girls change!" 

George sighed. "I know, Lord Koenma. It's a sad time for all of us." 


	4. Green Tea and Secrets! Hiei Makes a Date...

Rae: I apologize for the nudity in this chapter, but I needed a break from the silliness and needed to set up some stuff for later chapters to make the storyline feasible. Don't worry. I know what I'm doing. I think. 

**Green Tea and Secrets!! Hiei Makes a Date!!**

The purple haired one was nearly in tears as Hiei walked by Home Fashions to clock out for the evening. He had been looking forward to some time training on his own. It had been a long week, and it wasn't over yet. 

That was until he saw the heavyset woman grab the purple haired one by the arm and drag her to the register while she was talking to another customer. Hiei was certain he'd seen her open that morning, and she should have gone home by now. 

"Excuse me, can I get some help here?" A young black woman asked. She was the one Raederle had been talking to before the fat housewife had grabbed her. 

"I don't know anything about curtains." Hiei protested. The young woman looked distressed. 

"I guess I'll come back later." She said, looking over at the long line mounting in front of the hapless Home Fashions associate. 

"Wait." He ordered her. "Someone must have called in sick. I will take the register, and send her back here." 

Hiei darted over to the register before the woman could protest and sneered at the other customers as they flocked to the other register as soon as he came up. 

"Go help them on the floor. I'll ring here." He instructed. She nodded briskly. 

"That other register is closed, I'm sorry. Hiei will get you all here in a moment." She told them as she hurried back into the curtains. "Or you can take your purchases to another register, if you have some more shopping to do." 

He wondered if managing to break though the illusions in this place so far had made him capable of seeing other things which were masked, because as she made her long strides toward the other side of the department, he could have sworn he saw something shimmering falling out of the back of her blouse. 

Hiei may not have been good at everything that the humans wanted him to do at this ridiculous place, but one thing he was excellent at was ringing and bagging very quickly. Even the fat housewife that had grabbed Raederle had no room to complain as he swiftly packaged her merchandise. 

"Boxes." He asked flatly. The woman stared for a moment. "Do you need any boxes." 

"Oh, yes. For the t-shirts." 

He grabbed some of the smaller boxes and finished with her. "Thank you for shopping with us. Next." 

Within ten minutes, he'd decimated the line. Looking around, he noticed a human in an overcoat standing by the razors, looking around himself nervously. Hiei doubted the human could see him behind the counter. 

"Can I help you." Hiei asked, though it sounded more like a threat. It had taken less than a second to appear behind him. The man jolted and put the razor he was looking at down. 

"Oh, no… I was just waiting for my wife." He said quickly. 

"What's her name. I can page her." 

"That's alright. I'll meet her at the car." 

Hiei smiled like a Cheshire cat as he walked back to the registers. Thieves so unskilled had no business making a profit. 

"Now, Hiei." Raederle said, not looking up from her register. She was keying in the curtain order of the black woman he'd seen a few moments earlier. "If you scare away all the shoplifters we won't have any customers." 

The woman laughed. "Thank you so much young man. I needed order these curtains tonight, because the sale goes off, but I couldn't wait much longer, or I'd be late for work. I'm over at the call center." 

"Ugh." Raederle expressed with feeling. The woman smiled. 

"It's only part time, and it's not so bad if you're used to it. Just don't let people get to you." She accepted the receipt as Rae handed it to her. "Don't be so sensitive about how they treat you and you'll be just fine. Because after they whine and bitch at you because you can't do something for them, they still aren't going to get their way, because when you say you can't do it, you just can't with the system we have." 

"Yeah. You should get that in about two weeks. If it doesn't come by then, give us a call so we can look it up for you. And hang onto that receipt in case those measurements don't work out." 

"Thank you!" She called back pleasantly as she hurried to her car. 

Raederle locked the register and walked around to lean against the tandem. "Well she was nice. Thanks for helping me by the way. I hope you don't get in trouble with Jonathan for staying over." 

"I really don't care." Hiei responded, looking up at her evenly. She shrugged. 

"They get fussed at from up above if they go over pay requirements. Which is why we have so few people here. I can't believe both the girls working tonight called in on me." 

"Leave." Hiei suggested. She crooked the side of her mouth. 

"That sounds pretty damned tempting." She admitted, playing with the silver half heart on the end of her necklace. 

"Your necklace is broken." He remarked. She looked down for a moment. 

"It isn't broken. It's made that way." She raised a brow when he gave her another blank look. "They make it with two halves, so each person can have one." 

She held her half up. "Says best friends. My sister has the other half." 

"Your sister." 

"Yup. You have a sister?" 

Hiei looked at he accusingly. 

"I'm guessing, don't take it personal." She walked around the counter. Hiei glared back at her as she began talking to another customer. He thought he faintly smelled green tea, but he could have been mistaken, and a customer came up behind him immediately after. 

"How much does this cost?" 

"I don't know." He took it and scanned the pan at the register, reciting the price for the customer. 

"But the sign said it was on sale?" 

"Rae?" Hiei called back, hoping she would hear him. He had no idea what this was even for, though he half remembered Kurama using one at some point in time. 

"One sec." She held up a finger to the woman looking at the towels. "What?" 

"Is this supposed to be on sale?" 

"Um, no. That's an exceptional value item. It's always that price. The ones on sale are the T-Fall. It'll be more expensive but it's a better value really." She pointed directly in the middle of the cookware. "I'm a terrible cook and I've yet to destroy mine." 

The man nodded and headed back into the cookware section. Rae nodded to Hiei and went back to the little old lady shuffling through the towels. 

And so it went for three more hours, running back and forth between customers, ringing, and going crazy from the repetitive Christmas music. 

At fifteen till, it had slowed down, and Raederle groaned loudly. "If I have to hear about Miss Damn Susie Snowflake one more time, I may go postal." 

"Are they trying to torture us?" Hiei asked seriously. Rae shook her head. 

"No doubt." She said looking at her watch. "Goddess bless. Fifteen till." 

Hiei raised a brow as she opened up one of the registers. 

"I'm going to precount them. So as soon as they announce closing we can get out of here." 

"Hn." Hiei said in approval. 

"Our first Christmas, more than we'd been dreaming of… old Santa Nicolas had his fingers crossed that we would fall in love…" 

He glared back at Raederle as he heard her singing along to the music playing the store. 

"It must have been the mistletoe, the lazy fire, the fallen snow, the magic in the frosty air- eep. Sorry. I've heard these song so many times it's ridiculous." 

Her voice wasn't bad, per say, but she was no Kurama. And he certainly didn't want to hear the foolish human music any longer than he had to. 

The second the store was announced closed, she darted to the other register and had them both closed in five minutes. 

"Let's jet." She said eagerly, grabbing the clear plastic bag that they had given to Kurama and skittering out of the department quickly. Hiei followed her, easily keeping up with her long legs. 

She swiped her card and grabbed a black leather coat and turned to him. "Do you have a ride?" 

"I'll be fine." 

"You're not going to walk, are you? It's freezing. I hate the cold." 

Hiei pondered this for a moment, while Raederle looked at him like he was from another planet. She would certainly begin to think his group was strange if he didn't accept a ride, and he could examine her further. She did seem strange to him as well. Pointed ears were something, he was pretty certain, that most humans didn't have. 

"Come on. I'll take you home and feed you first." She offered. 

"Alright." He agreed hesitantly following her out into the parking lot. They walked silently through the bitter cold to her blue car. He eyed the strange ningen machine as she opened the door for him. 

"Go on. She doesn't bite." Rae went around to the other side of the car and muttered: "Guys at least." 

She started up the engine and stared at him as he slowly entered the vehicle. He could hear Japanese singing coming from somewhere in the car. 

"Close the door." She said, softly, obviously biting back impatience. "Not to be nosy, but you don't have much experience with machines, do you?" 

"No." 

"Then why did they put you in electronics?" She asked as she pulled out of the parking lot and headed to her apartment. He shrugged and listened to the music. 

"Do you speak Japanese?" 

"Not much." She replied honestly. "If you hear us using the honorifics around work, that's mostly because we picked it up from Anime." 

_anata to deatte kara   
mune no oku de hikatteru   
itoshisa ga setsunakute   
shizuka ni hitomi wo tojita_

"It was really nice of you to stay with me. It was really busy tonight." 

"No problem." 

Raederle creased her eyebrow. 

"Damn. I can still feel where that woman grabbed me." She muttered. "Sorry. I don't like to be touched much." 

"That's understandable." 

"Yeah, you just need your personal space." She braked at the light and waited. "So are you boys getting along okay here? I know some of the employees can be jerks." 

"They don't bother me." 

_koi wa Lonely Lonely heart   
hitoribotchi yo   
Lonely Lonely heart   
yorokobi mo kanashimi mo itsudatte   
watashi dake no yume no naka   
koi wa Lonely Lonely heart   
dakedo kitto itsu no hi ni ka   
anata no tsuyoi ude ni dakarenagara   
watashitachi ni naritakute. . . ._

"It's good to have friends though. I'd rather have friends than… anything else." 

"Hn. It is good to have allies." He caught her large sparkling sea green eyes. They were incredibly serious at the moment, layers of history roiling behind then in a storm that could have ended in madness, but instead ended in wisdom. She leaned over closer brushing her tongue over the thin somber mouth… 

HONK!! 

"Fuck." She spat as she straightened up. He could see the people behind them screaming in their own machine, and she quickly moved her foot over and pressed down hard. He could almost see spots of red springing up on her cheeks. She focused resolutely on the road, feeling pretty stupid. "We're almost there." 

_dare mo shiranai   
Secret tears   
nugueru hito wa   
Only   
watashi yori   
watashitachi ni naritakute..._

After a few moments, they pulled up in front of an apartment building and she led him inside. Flipping on the light, she tossed her coat onto the beat up sofa and motioned him inside. 

"Go on in. I'm going to make some food." 

Hiei stood in the living room waiting for her. 

"So… how long have you and Kurama been friends?" 

Hiei didn't respond, and looked around the apartment. It was a little messy, but over all seemed organized. He spotted a few weights in the corner that he figured were Belle's. About half a dozen books laying face down to mark the page were on the couch and some on the end tables and floor. 

"Yo. You can clear a space and sit down. We have to clean later for anyway." Rae peered through the little window between the tiny kitchen and the living room. "So you've known Kurama, what? Five years or so? Been partners a long time." 

That got his attention as she looked at him questioningly. _Can she be guessing?_

"Yes. A long time." Hiei raised a brow. "Shuiichi." 

"Oh. Right, Shuiichi. Damn." She stirred something in a saucepan. "How bout the others, not so long? But you trust Yusuke a lot." 

"How would you know?" Hiei growled. He looked through the little window to see her shrug. 

"I watch people. That's all." She adjusted the knob on the stove and look back over at him. 

"What about you?" Hiei said, turning it back on her. She shrugged. 

"I've known Belle about two years. Sarah and Mia I met at the store. Ryo was in one of my classes. You met him right?" 

"Yes." 

"Neat little guy isn't he? Has he been helping you with the electronics over there?" 

"Yes. Human machines are ridiculous." 

"No doubt. But really, the more you work with them, the more you get used to it." Stirring the pot one more time, she emptied the contents into two bowls. Then she added some hot water she was boiling into two mugs. Taking a little spoon, she turned her back to him and clinked around the sides of the mug adding a few things before she was satisfied. Some how she managed to balance most of it onto a plate and head out into the living room. "Hope you don't mind ramen and cocoa. I'm not the best cook in the world, but it's warm, at least." 

"Hn." Hiei noted, as she set the bowl of noodles in front of him with a pair of chopsticks. 

"I steal those from restaurants whenever I go." She said with a grin. 

"You eat with chopsticks." 

"I'm turning Japanese." She replied softly. Then more seriously: "Only when I eat Japanese foods." 

"You and your friends do many Japanese things." 

"It's a bonding thing." 

He took a sip of the cocoa to find it surprisingly sweet. He drank it appreciatively and looked over at the girl, legs askew slurping up her ramen. 

"You and your sister are close." 

"Very close. How about you?" 

"Hn." 

"You and your family? Are you close?" She insisted, looking over into his deep red eyes. Once again he felt that deep connection as she solemnly starred him down. 

"Not as I would like to be." 

"That's too bad. You can find strength in your greatest weaknesses." She said softly. "When you've found that deeper need inside, it can give you immeasurable power. If only you dare to look for it." 

Hiei breathed in sharply, realizing that he'd been holding it for too long. This girl was just too bizarre. Raederle got up, setting down her mug, and looked down at him seriously. 

"I know you suspect certain things about me. And I know certain things about you." Hiei glared at her, challenging her knowledge. She raised an angular brow. "You're a demon. So is Kurama, and I believe Yusuke as well, at least in part. You know that I'm… not normal… I guess. You're looking for something." 

Hiei wondered if he should kill her right there. 

"I'm not telling you this to threaten you. I want you to trust me. And that can't be easy for a person such as yourself." She turned from him and slowly began to pull up her blouse. Inch by inch she revealed her naked back as Hiei watched, unsure of how to interpret this gesture. Did she want to display her vulnerability to him? It would be unwise, since she'd just admitted she knew where they came from. Maybe he should kill her if she was so foolish. The pale naked flesh lay before him, and he focused on it, as though it held a secret for him to crack. 

And it did. After a few moments, he saw the shimmering thing he'd though he'd seen earlier that evening. Something he was absolutely certain that normal humans did not have. She had wings. 

They shimmered like faerie wings, but seemed to still be slightly conforming to the shape of a butterfly's. And then he knew, she wasn't human. 

"What are you?" 

"I don't know." She said softly lowering her eyes as if trying to remember something. "I appeared in this world about two years ago. I'm not human. But I don't know where I came from. Sometimes I get glimpses." 

She lowered her shirt and sat next to him again. "I can make people look away from me… make their eyes gloss over my differences so they don't recognize that they're looking at the unusual. It isn't malicious, more… for self-defense. 

"You do this for your friends as well." 

"I'd hate to divulge their irregularities, but yes. Sometimes." Raederle slid her long fingers through her hair, tossing the tail over her shoulder, and cocked her head at him. "A secret for a secret?" 

Hiei studied her for a moment, considering her options, the gravity of what she'd just admitted to him, and the fact that she was willing not to blow their cover. "Alright." 

"Did you like the cocoa?" 

"Huh?" 

"The cocoa. I added some extra chocolate. I was betting that you liked sweets." 

"Oh. I like it sweet. I want to ask another question." 

Raederle cracked a small smile. "What's that?" 

"Why do you smell like green tea?" 

She covered her mouth and held back some merry laughter. "I… don't think humans have anything comparable, but it's sort of like my scent. It resembles the smell of green tea, I'm told. By Belle, and others." 

"Interesting. I'll know how to find you." Hiei noted, showing his fangs a little mischievously. 

"Presuming I want to be found." She shot back. "So. Do you want to go upstairs-" 

"Hn." 

She frowned. "So I can show you how to use a computer? I can even teach you how to set an alarm clock." 

"Oh. Alright." 

***

"So… have you narrowed down the search for the Sears Senshi yet?" 

A dark man stood in the shadows waiting for an answer from his flunky. The man with a bad crewcut hid behind his large, pimp-esque sunglasses and a trench coat as he listened to what the man had to say. 

"I'm getting closer, sir. I've only been able to narrow it down by scanning the employees one by one." 

"That isn't good enough." He replied tersely. "Do what I've shown you and find the Sears Senshi. I want their powers." 

"Yes, sir." The man replied quickly. "I'll find them and drain all of their energy for you." 

The dark man rubbed his hands together gleefully. "Excellent." 

***

"Holy Mary mother of fucking god!" Sarah swore irreverently in the breakroom Kurama, who was entering just then, turned his head to the blond girl and laughed. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Hiei let Raederle _drive_ him _and_ he ate her _cooking_. Damn you're brave!" 

Raederle tossed her purse at the girl. "Shut the fuck up. I'm not that much of a terror." 

"Akane, baby. _Akane_." Sarah replied starring mirthfully into Raederle's irritated face. 

"He's still alive!" She protested. "My cooking has yet to actually… kill someone. Don't listen to them, Hiei, you'll be fine." 

Rae stuck her tongue out at Sarah, and Mia who was conspiratorially making gagging faces at the blond, and sat next to Hiei. She rustled through her bag and pulled out a cookie. 

"Here you go." She smiled at him and eyed the girls. 

"No cookies for us?" Mia said, trying her best to look sad without laughing. Hiei nibbled on the cookie, happy to find it sugary and delicious. 

"No cookies for brats." 

"Then this is fucking against the law." Blue declared as she marched into the breakroom and snatched a few cookies. Smiling back at Rae she handed one to Kurama. "One won't hurt, hon. Try them. She bought them, so I know its safe." 

"Bitch." Rae shot at her challengingly. 

"Back atcha, bitch." Belle grinned, winking at her. "So has everyone had a perfectly horrible day?" 

Sarah raised her hand. "Oh! Me! Me! I will never have children. Sally has me over in the Children's department today and there was this little rugrat over there saying the most horrible things to his nana!" 

"Oh, I know, honey." Mia said emphatically. "Kids are so awful these days. If Morgan ever talked back to me like some of these chillins do to their mamas I'd bust him upside his head." 

"One time I was in the ladies, and I swear. In the next stall there was this little kid, bawlin up a storm." Blue told them, taking a bite out of one of the cookies. "She kept sayin, are you done? Are you done? I'm not going to talk to you until you've finished fussin. Noo.. it's not nice to hit mommy." 

"Never having children." Sarah repeated with a look of disgust and dismay on her face. Mia looked at her seriously. 

"Bare the rod, spank that child. They'll be happy you did later. Hell, my momma, spanked me whenever I was bad, and it got so she didn't have to do it anymore. Cause I _knew_ she'd pull my britches down in public and teach me not to behave like an animal. If you're going to have children, raise 'em right." 

Rae slapped the table hard with her palm. "Aaaaaamen!" 

Blue chuckled. "Preach it, sista." 

"Oh, like _you_ ever got to worry about that." 

"Mebbe someday." Belle challenged her. 

"Turkey baster." Mia sneered, getting up to go back to work. "See you hooches latez." 

"See ya, bitch." Belle called. Mia pursed her lips and ran her fingers over Sarah's head as she left. 

"Yeah, you better show up tomorra, bitch. Because you said last time you'd give me a run for my money and I ain't runnin." 

Bellezabble smirked as she leaned back in her chair and flipped Mia off, bobbing her head arrogantly. Kurama looked at her questioningly and she shrugged. 

"Pool. Tomorrow we're all going to the pool hall, remember? And Mia bet me awhile back she could beat me in a game, that's all. We're only fooling around." She smiled at him warmly and took his hand in hers. Kurama's eyes lit up and he took both of her hands and rubbed his over them. 

"You must have bad circulation, Belle. Your hands are always cold." He smiled and kissed her lightly on the lips. Raederle turned to Hiei and made a face. He rolled his eyes in response. 

"I must return to my department." Hiei announced, flitting out of the room as Raederle saluted to him. 

"See you lovebirds later." Rae quipped, pushing the rest of the cookies over to Sarah. "Make sure Mia gets some." 

Sarah nodded, avoiding looking at the couple across from her. She took a cookie and began to lick it lightly with her tongue. Kurama and Belle were hardly paying attention to her, so she held up her cup and lapped up some water as well. Eventually, she tossed the cookie up and chomped it in the air territorially. Smirking behind her, Sarah left, sashaying out of the room, her ears still twitching for sparks of conversation far into the hallway. 

"Mmm." She whispered to herself, browsing through the Men's department for a reason to delay heading back to the timeclock. "Curious as a cat." 

***

Kurama looked around the trashed Juniors department fretfully. He was really beginning to hate closing night after night. People stayed in the dressing rooms until the last minute, stole clothes when he wasn't looking and half the little teenagers who came in to spend their parents money made nasty comments about what the tall "redheaded girl" wore. Or didn't wear. Apparently, not wearing makeup was a sure ticket to being called a lesbian, which Kurama wouldn't have minded much if he had been a girl, but since he'd gone to the trouble to reincarnate into a male he would have appreciated it if others had noticed. 

The fox had never been picky about his lovers. Something that came in the territory of being a youko, the long life gave him opportunities to understand the transitory nature of mortal existence. Change was inevitable. Nothing was permanent. And the only restrictions that existed were restrictions that one put onto oneself. 

Kurama placed another dress back on the hanger he was sure a half-blind drag queen would turn her nose up at and hear the click of the intercom for an announcement. 

"Attention. Number 689 is a defiler of virgin goats. Repeat... Hiei... defiler of virgin goats." 

Kurama stopped what he was doing immediately and looked up at the ceiling in disbelief. That had been Sally's voice he was certain. He couldn't believe that was actually her. The intercom clicked again. 

"Please repeat that last page." It was Hiei. Kurama couldn't tell whether or not he was angry or amused. He hurried to finish cleaning up the rest of his department so he could meet with the others at the exit. The intercom clicked again. 

"Stop fooling around with the intercom. Hiei, please report to the main office." Jonathan ordered. Kurama quickened his clean up once again. 

***

The gang waited at the door for Hiei to get out of Jonathan's office. He came out looking bored and unimpressed. 

"Are you still working here?" Ryo asked worriedly. Yusuke laughed. 

"If Jonathan hasn't canned my ass yet, he can't bust Hiei. Besides, he didn't even do anything." 

"He wanted to know if I knew who might have a machine that could mimic Sally's voice." Hiei told them glaring. "I told him I did not know. Let's get the fuck out of here." 

They nodded in agreement and headed for their cars. 

"You boys walking?" Mia asked. 

"Well, they certainly can't ride with Rae." Sarah joked. Raederle swiftly scooped up some snow and stuffed it down her shirt. "Eee!! I was just kidding!" 

"It isn't that far." Yusuke assured them. Ryo furiously polished his glasses, which seemed unhappy with the change in temperature. 

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow night, then hon." Belle promised, pecking Kurama on the cheek and headed off. He waited until she was out of sight before rubbing his cheek. 

"Cooties?" Yusuke teased. Kurama shivered. 

"No. She's cold! I was afraid her lips would stick to my cheek." 

Ryo snorted and waved, heading toward his car. Raederle caught Hiei's eye meaningfully before she headed to her car, gazing deeply into the red abyss. He in turn, looking into her fathomless green pools of wisdom. 

"Goat-fucker." She said softly. Hiei smirked. 

"Bitch." 

........... 

Endnote: Fear not. I will not trouble you with any more of my back-story unless it has to do with Raederle being evil, as always, and prying into Hiei's past, which she might. In this story she doesn't know enough about her past to reveal it anyway. I'm sorry, but this chapter was really fun to write. Some girls are ever failing at romance and spectacular at friendship. 


End file.
